What is Sex?

This one is cool. I got it from the book “Chicken Soup for the College Soul under Love 101”. Happy Valentine’s everyone!

    
     One day in an emergency waiting room, a little girl turned to her mother and asked, “What is sex?” People turned their full attention to Mom. I mean, this was better than whatever was on the waiting-room television—better than Jerry Springer. I mean this was real life. Exciting. What was Mom going to say? How do you answer a six-year old girl? What is sex? This is one hot topic. You know, kids seem to know so much more than I did at their age; they are exposed to so much more these days on television and at the movies. How was Mom going to answer?

     I’m the kind of guy who just goes ahead and answers the question right away, like I not only know the answer, but understand the question. So I’m curious how Mom is going to tell this little girl about how babies are made. Or how Mom is going to dodge this difficult question. I mean, is Mom going to talk to a little child about safe sex? I’m pretty sure Mom is not going to talk about ways to have sex; although you just really never know what might happen in the emergency room.

     But she surprises me; she doesn’t think in the way I think or respond the way I usually respond. Instead, she pauses. I hardly ever pause. She then thoughtfully asks her daughter, “What do you mean dear?” The little girl responds, “Well, Mom, I was looking at this paper, and it says sex – M/F. Am I an M or F? Mom’s face breaks into a huge smile. The waiting room patrons resume their usual chatter.

    And I laugh. I would have answered the wrong question. I had heard the question, but I really did not listen to what the little girl was saying.

Adam Saperston

Submitted by Kathleen Kelly

Will you stay or will you walk away?

      I had been talking about love recently and here I am again, it is not because I am getting the nerve out of me but it’s just that I wanted to share my thoughts about the relationship of people who are so closed to my heart and I think, I can use this space in my blog to express my opinion about their relationships. I just can’t keep myself be quiet in one corner while I know that my friends are hurting.

     Try to realize, if you have a boyfriend who cheated on you once, do you think he is worth to be trusted again? Do you think it will depend on how serious his offense was or how sorry he was for what he did? Well, if he cheated on you once, he may be able to do it again, isn’t it? But “love is blind” and this saying had sounded to be a broken record yet it remains to be true most of the times. I’ve seen a lot of girls who just tolerate the bad things their boyfriends had done to them for the sake of love, even if it was too painful.

     This friend, who I am pertaining to, had a boyfriend and she thought that she was the only girl the guy had, at least during the time they had considered themselves “on”. Everything was smooth-sailing until she found out that her man had taken his ex-girlfriend back, and worse, the guy wanted to keep both of them and asked her to stay. My friend is now confused if she’ll stay or she’ll break up with him, isn’t that absurd? If you are in her situation, do you think you will have a second thought? Of course, you will say she is a fool and if you are in her shoes you will immediately break up with your boyfriend with a matching slap on his face and say, “Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!” And maybe you will add, “Kulang pa yan sa ginawa mo sakin, you bastard!” then you will walk out, with your chin up but deep in your heart you are so hurt and wanted to cry out loud after the confrontation. Did I imagine it right?

     But not all girls are that strong and not all girls will be able to break up easily with their boyfriends, especially for a girl whose life revolves on her man. I had the same experience years back and I even accepted my boyfriend after all his explanations and sincere apologies (sincere as it sounded for me). All of my friends who knew my story had advised me to break up with him but I still followed my foolish heart and stayed in our relationship. Well, I am more mature now and I know now that my decision before was wrong. If I am to bring back the time, I should have done a more rational move. Maybe, I was too young and a bit impulsive and those things were too overwhelming for me so I took them as challenge.

     I understand if this friend of mine is having a second thought whether to break up or not with her boyfriend. There are several factors that could affect her decision and her love for him is just one of those factors. But what I am not too sure about is if it’s really love that made her keeps their relationship or she is just afraid of the possibilities to be left out. Well for me, being alone is better than being with someone, but still feeling alone and lonely. Sis, to tell you frankly, that guy doesn’t worth any of your love. He is not the right guy for you if he chose to be with her ex-girlfriend. If he says he loves you both, then slap his face as he may still be dreaming. To hell with him! No man can sail in two rivers at the same time, remember that. In most cases, he will be with the other girl and you will feel that you are just being taken for granted. At least leave yourself the pride and let go of him while the feeling is not too deep yet. If you choose to pretend that her other girl does not exist and you will continue with your relationship with him, then your life will be in such a great mess. I tell you, you will not find the real happiness and the peace that you deserve if you will continue with this. You will just hurt yourself more. Give yourself a chance to be really happy. I believe God has His reason on why he let this thing to happen. I’m sure He has a better plan. Always pray to God to give you the best partner, the one who will not hurt you and will not just take you for granted. Breaking up with that kind of man is a good kind of pain. It may hurt you at first but the pain will eventually go away and you will find yourself a better person in the end.

Are you meant to be?

     A friend of mine requested me to write this blog as she wanted to know my opinion on “how will you know if you already found the right one for you?” I think she is a bit concerned about her love life now and can’t decide if she’ll hold on to their relationship or will just let go. She might be afraid that if she chooses to let go, she might have been taking away her chance to be happy; but what if letting go will let her feel the real happiness that she had been longing for?

     I know that this topic is a bit complicated but I feel that my personal experience will somewhat help influencing others in some ways. I know a lot may still be confused on how you will determine if the person whom you are inlove with right now is the same person to whom you are destined to be forever. Can we really tell if its destiny that makes things happen or your own choice or decision that matters? Is it measured by the length of engagement, having a joint account, closeness of either families, or your compatibility as couple? Like I mentioned with my previous blog, love is not determined of how long you two had been together, but it is determined by the feelings you too had shared. Love comes when you least expect it. When we love someone, we offer the best that we could give to that person. We tried to be the perfect person for him or her and tried to please him or her in every way possible; on the other hand, we get blinded for what our eyes can see and we tend to tolerate all the negative things we can see from him or her. Once you accept the person to be part of your life, then that will serve as the beginning of your journey together and you are permitting that person to take control of your life from thereon. When you are inlove, you imagine to be married to that person right? You imagine how you will spend the rest of your life with that person and you include him or her in all your plans. You might be seeing some colorful butterflies flying around while thinking of him or her. Well, for me that’s what true love is all about. But remember, it is not because he or she is your true love then he or she will be your lifetime partner. He or she may be your soul mate but he or she could never be your husband or wife. You can love one person after another and could be true to all of them when you say you love them right?

     From my own point of view, if that person is really meant for you, then you will still end up with him or her. It is not that you will depend yourself on destiny but you can’t pursue if it’s really not meant to be. You are the captain of your own ship and how you manage the wheel will greatly affect your sail. Your decision highly matters and whatever your choice is determines the end of everything. You can’t say if he or she is really the one for you but you can say if that person is the one whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t worry too much about what lies ahead and don’t be afraid to trust. If that person is making you feel happy and contented, making you feel complete then give that person a chance to be part of your life. What important is you learn to trust one another and you treat one another with respect each day.  If you can’t trust your life to that person then don’t waste your life with him or her. Find someone who can make you feel comfortable and secure. You may love that person now and may not love him or her tomorrow but that’s life. Once the door closes, another door opens. Learn to let go of that person if what he or she does to you is hurt you. Let go while you can still respect the person and don’t wait for the time to come when the only thing left is hatred. Just be thankful for all the sweet memories that you have shared. You two can still end up together, who knows? And love could be sweeter the second time around as what the saying goes.

      Relationship is like a work in progress. Both of you are being put to test and both of you should be strong in facing the challenges along your way. Just make sure to put God first on top of everything so He can guide you in making the right decisions. Remember as what the song says “love moves in mysterious ways!”

Ang Tadhana

(This poem represents my parents love story - by Bernadette 08/18/01 3:30PM)

Noong 1984, nagkita si Papa’t Mama
Sa Pilar Village, Las Piñas, do’n sa Metro Manila

Ang Mama ko ay tindera, sa isang panaderya
At si Papa’y dealer ng coke do’n sa bakery nila.

Ang kanilang pagkikita ay tila itinadhana
Dahil si Papa ay nanligaw, anong laking pagkabigla

At itong aking Mama’y nag-uumapaw ang paghanga
Nagtapatan ng pag-ibig, na kapwa kay dakila!

Ang nakakatawa rito’y nang si Mama’y magbakasyon
Sinabi sa kanyang nobyong, sa probinsya’y paroroon

At ito namang aking Papa, sa kagustuhang maglimayon
Nagsabing s’ya ay sasama’t, ang nobya ay sumang-ayon

At tunay ngang kakatwa kung magbiro ang kapalaran
Dahil ganitong paniniwala’y agad na napatunayan

Nang dumating sa San Juan ang dalawang nagmamahalan
Inusisa si Papa kung kelan mamamanhikan

Ang sumundo na nangyari ay tila ba isang kidlat
Inihanda ang kaylangan, inayos na lahat-lahat

Sa Simbahang Katolika, ang dalawa’y iniharap
Nagsumpaan ng pag-ibig, at bumuo ng pangarap.

Soft tender kisses…

          What is a kiss? Webster defines it as a transitive verb which means “to touch with the lips especially as a mark of affection or greeting”. Nowadays, you will often witness people greeting their amigos by kissing them on the cheeks or what they called “beso-beso”. Kissing became a normal gesture for two persons who had known each other for so long, whether a friend, a relative, a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband and wife. Kiss could be as simple and fast as it could; as strong or torrid as it may; or as passionate and gentle as you want it to be. A simple kiss means something to a person and could ignite the passion within that person.

          

          Do you still remember the date when you last kissed your mother in her cheeks? Ah… why can’t I tell now? My mother used to kiss me every time we see each other especially when there is an occasion: Christmas, New Year, my birthday, last graduation… but I don’t remember that I initiated a kiss. Sad to say, I don’t remember kissing her at all. I envy those characters in movies or ‘soap opera’ who can express their love to their parents and can talk to their parents with ease. As I watched them hug and kiss their parents so passionately, I can’t control the emotions flowing inside me... oh how I missed my parents! How I wish I could do the same.

          I don’t know what’s keeping me for not doing the same though. Maybe I am so shy that’s why I am hesitant to express my affection to them. I am not a “showy-typed” of person I may say, but deep in my heart, my love for them is immeasurable. Now that I have a daughter of my own, I get used to her soft tender kisses. It really touches my heart when my little Natalie kisses me and embraces me. Those are melting my heart. And now that we are distance apart, I missed our times together... I missed her hugs and kisses very much!

          When I had a feeling like this, I always think of my parents, too. I know they feel the same way towards me. I know they’re longing for their daughter Bernadette who used to kiss and hug them as well when she was just a little girl. So, don’t feel shy to show your parents how much you love and value them. Don’t let the time comes, when they won’t be able to hear your voice or feel your touch anymore. Please do it now as they will really appreciate it.

          When I go home to our hometown this weekend, I will not forget to kiss my parents in their cheeks and hug them tight. I will tell them the words they long to hear from me for the past years. I will tell my parents, “Ma, Pa, I love you so much and I always will…”

Crazy in love…

As I write this blog, I am thinking of a close friend of mine. I knew how painful it is for him to let go of a person whom he is in love with until now. He is unsure if it’s the right time to let go of her and undecided if he has to fight for her to win her heart back. I know, letting go is one of the crucial way in a relationship; but remember, not all stories have a happy ending... In real life, it isn’t always like a fairytale. It is hard to let go of someone who had been part of your life especially if that someone is the one who makes you happy, if that someone makes you feel complete, if that someone brings out the best in you. It is not determined of how long you two had been together, but it is determined by the feelings that you two had shared. When you are in love, you get so excited in every way. You think of the same person over and over again, every minute… every second… and not seeing that person for a while seems to be not seeing him or her for quite a long period of time… it seems that you have been waiting forever and can’t wait to see that person again. You feel so inspired every time you do things together. It seems that no one can break you apart. You two are so united! That is called “crazy in love”. Life is not so perfect and this friend of mine is now in the middle of real life examination. He has so many questions: Is it the best time to let go? Are they really in love with one another or is it just a one-sided love affair? Shall I fight for her if she is the one pushing me away? Admittedly, he loves the person but he is not ready with the next level of commitment yet. He knew how much he wanted to be with her, spend his life with her, but afraid that he can’t fulfill the girl’s expectation. My question is, is he really in love? From my point of view, if you already found your true love, you shouldn’t have inhibitions. You should not put a limitation into it, on how far the relationship should go. You should allow your feelings to direct you in the right path. If you feel that she is the right girl for you, why are you so afraid to show it and admit it to the world? If you two are both in love with one another, together, you will find ways to overcome the trials in your relationship. Not only you will fight for her, but she too, will fight for you. If you are the only one fighting for it that is called one-sided love affair… then let her go so both of you will be happy. The magic of love comes from both people. If you are really in love, let the spirit, the passion, the affection flow freely from both of you. Don’t be afraid of what others will say because in the end, it is the two of you who matters.